Cliff Johnson’s Treasures from the InterWeb  

>Take One<

Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

>Take Two<

When I crossed the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.

I replied, “Well, what do you need?”

>Take Three<

Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.

What does December have that the other months don’t have? The letter D.

What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus.

>Take Four<

Airports hang mistletoe over the baggage check-in counters to afford you the opportunity to kiss your luggage goodbye.

>Take Five<

The 3 Stages Of Man.

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

>Take Six<

The Dutchman explained the red, white, and blue of the Netherlands flag.

“We get red when we talk about taxes, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them.”

The American nodded. “It’s the same in the United States only we see stars too.”

>Take Seven<

On New Year’s Eve, I always watch them drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.