Cliff Johnson’s Treasures from the InterWeb  

>Take One<

You can have my Oxford comma when you pry it from my cold, stiff, and lifeless hands.

>Take Two<

A poem by Julian Tirhma.

Gag. Hack. Beep. Guffaw. Giggle. Chirp. Cluck. Suck. Yawn. Buzz. Cough. Gurgle. Purr.

Whistle. Wheeze. Hmm. Spit. Click. Whoop. Swear. Gnash. Hum. Smooch. Hail. Burp.


>Take Three<

I don’t procrastinate. I wait until the last minute to do things, because I will be older and therefore wiser.

>Take Four<

God is dead - Nietzsche.

Nietzsche is dead - God.

God is Dad - Jesus.

>Take Five<

Never ask someone eating ice cream straight out of the carton how things are going.

>Take Six<

Baby Boomers: We gonna change the world.

Gen X: We don’t care.

Millennials: Stop calling us that.

>Take Seven<

Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.