Cliff Johnson’s Treasures from the InterWeb  

>Take One<

In Nightmare on Elm Street, a paramedic remarks, “We don’t need a stretcher in there. We need a mop.”

>Take Two<

Horror Movie Tag Lines:

The Fly: “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

Hellraiser: “He’ll tear your soul apart.”

Psycho: “A boy’s best friend is his mother.”

Alien: “In space, no one can hear you scream.”

The Bride of Frankenstein: “The monster demands a mate!”

Dawn of the Dead: “When there is no room left in hell, the dead will walk the earth.”

The Lost Boys: “Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It’s fun to be a vampire.”

>Take Three<

Stephen King defines the 3 types of terror:

The Gross-out: the sight of a severed head tumbling down a flight of stairs. It’s when the lights go out and something green and slimy splatters against your arm.

The Horror: the unnatural, spiders the size of bears, the dead waking up and walking around, it’s when the lights go out and something with claws grabs you by the foot.

The Unknown: you feel something behind you, you hear it, you feel its breath against your ear, but when you turn around, there’s nothing there.

>Take Four<

Horror Movie Trivia:

In Evil Dead II, you can see Freddy Krueger’s glove hanging above the door in the tool shed.

Psycho was the first time a flushing toilet was shown on screen.

Sissy Spacek slept in bloody clothes for three days while filming the prom scene in Carrie.

The mask used in Halloween is a William Shatner mask from Star Trek.

The skeletons in Poltergeist are not props. They are real human skeletons.

It took only 8 days to film The Blair Witch Project (it made $249 million worldwide on a $25,000 budget).

Also, actress Heather Donahue was worried that the director planned to make a snuff film.

>Take Five<

Bela Lugosi played Count Dracula only twice. In 1931’s Dracula and 1948’s Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

He also portrayed Count Mora in 1935’s Mark of the Vampire and Armand Tesla in 1944’s The Return of the Vampire.

>Take Six<

Little Willie, in the best of sashes,

Fell in the grate and was burned to ashes.

By and by, the room grew chilly.

But no one cared to stir up Willie.

 

Willie, I regret to state,

Cut his sister up for bait.

We miss her when it’s time to dine.

But Willie’s fish taste simply fine.

 

Willie walked on the railroad track.

The engine gave the worst of squeals.

And then they turned the engine back.

And scraped off Willie from the wheels.

 

Willie’s cute as cute can be.

Beneath his brother, only three,

He lit a stick of dynamite.

Now brother’s simply out of sight.

 

Willie fell down the elevator.

They found him there just three weeks later.

The neighbors said, “Oh gee whiz!

What a spoiled child Willie is!”

 

Willie poisoned his grandma’s tea,

Grandma died in agony.

Willie’s father was sorely vexed,

And said to Willie, “My son, what next”?

>Take Seven<

Ash in Evil Dead II, “We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound ‘fine’ to you?”

>Cut<

>Print<

With The Fool and his Money achieved, Im scrawling my once and future novel CRAFTPUPPET.

Why is the skeleton afraid to cross the road? It has no guts.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.

How do priests make holy water? They boil the hell out of it.

To a vampire, a cruise ship is a blood vessel.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.

Pet Sematary: “Sometimes dead is better.”

The Prey: “It’s not human, and it’s got an axe!”