Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.
Math Question: What’s the difference between one yard and two yards?
Student Answer: A fence.
A myth is a female moth.
Two physicians is a paradox.
Love means nothing to tennis players.
An exhausted kangaroo is out of bounds.
Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar and remark:
"Will be here."
Farmer Bill Dies in House.
Lack of Brains Hinders Research.
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Cartoonist found Dead in Home. Details are sketchy.
Jane was toast, and not the light buttery kind, nay, she was the kind that’s been charred and blackened in the bottom of the toaster and has to be thrown a away because no matter how much of the burnt part you scrape off with a knife, there’s always more blackened toast beneath, the kind that not even starving birds in winter will eat, that kind of toast.
666 is the Sign of the Beast.
0.666 is the MilliBeast.
DCLXVI is the Ancient Roman Beast.
1010011010 is the Binary Beast.
(666) is the Beast’s Area Code.
666 ˚F is the proper oven temperature for Roast Beast.
Route 666 is the Beast’s Highway.
666 mg is the minimum daily requirement of the Beast.
$665.95 is the Retail Price of the Beast.